Current mood:	introspective
Current music:	yeah it's a song title...

It Means Nothing...
In the past two weeks I've seen 4 people retire, this week I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose a manager that's within my group, maybe two. Two of our best analysts have gone on for greener pastures, and we're severely undermanned to the point that we need two worker assests from a different (and might I add dysfunctionally opposite) group to fill in the gap until we get new trainees.

The front line staff only barely recognize the need to start working versus relying on a lead tech to troubleshoot issues, so often there are too many times when issues bakes to the point that it's pretty critical. I like jumping into stuff like that, but it gets old watching people slack.

Despite all of the above, business can't stop, and we are getting new assets to train, so there's plenty of work to be had in support. Things could always be worse, and it's pretty much like a pirate ship here; because everyone's hanging on a thread, those that want to do something find themselves doing anything and everything they'd like, versus those that don't care, typically won't do shit. Even better, it's not just contractors that feel this way, but the once bulletproof employees that only now realize there's nothing permanent in life.

So now, we live without fear of consequence, gone is the kissass notion that follows the rhetoric from those who once dangled carrots in attempt to promote achievement, sounding quite meaningless in the face of every rumor and announcement that is delivered on a weekly basis; I even found myself telling someone to fuck off when they said "well, given the choice of working New Years Eve versus not working every day past New Years Day, I'd take the shift"...as if such flexibility or volunteerism makes a rats ass difference at this point.

It's wierd, only now do I sort of see how temporary anything and everything can be. Sure there's consequence, but it's so shortlived compared to pretty much everything, even our own lives if you think about how finite we are compared to the universe as a whole. Only now when things could be taken away does it make sense that I can do anything I truly want.